Skip to main content

The Universe is Chaos

 
I hear about my clients' trauma and misfortune all the time, from abuse, neglect and betrayal to accidents, illnesses and loss of parents and children.  There is so much suffering in this world, and I admit I sometimes get overwhelmed by it.

As I alluded to a few days ago, the past few weeks have been particularly tough because along with clients presenting with horrific experiences that break my heart, a guy I went to highschool with lost his 18 month old son.  He died in his sleep.  For no known reason.  WTF?

Tales of horror in the media too, from the 3 siblings and their grandfather killed by a drunk driver in the area on a Sunday afternoon, to gun massacres in the U.S. and the ongoing refugee crisis overseas. 

In the middle of my short spin session last Saturday, alone, in the dark with just a dim flashlight, I suddenly burst into tears.  Thoughts of all these victims - particularly my highschool friend and his family - whirled through my head and it just all seemed too unfair.

And that's it isn't it? Life is unfair.  And there is often nothing we can do about it.  And that totally sucks. Like sucks in a really big way.

Many of my clients ask, "Why me?" as do most of us when something horrific occurs. 

My perspective is that there is no reason.  Virtually everything that happens is random. Chance. That's it.

If you believe in a higher power than I am sure you will disagree with me, and that's okay.  This is just my opinion.  I do not believe everything happens for a reason. Not at all.  So don't ever say that to me if I'm upset about something that happened, okay? 
 
Besides, even if there is a reason, it isn't likely you'll ever know what it is.  I think what can actually be helpful is to find meaning in the experience.  Lots of people do this, of course, like parents who lose a child and then find the strength to devote themselves to raising money for the disease that their child had.  Or someone who gets a DUI realizing the seriousness of their mistake and speaking out against drunk driving.

I do see how believing in a higher power can bring comfort.  Some of my religious clients will accept misfortune as "God's will."  But for others, crises simply test their faith because they cannot fathom why a higher power would deliver to them such a terrible fate.

The thing about the everything happens for a reason theory is that it often leads to feelings of low self-worth, shame and self-blame.  I see it with my clients all the time.  They believe they are being punished for something or sent a message that they are __________________ . No, not so, in my opinion.  I butterfly may have just flapped its wings...

It was rather cathartic to have a little cry but now I am feeling better.  The secret to not getting pulled down into the muck is to acknowledge the suffering and use it as a reminder to be grateful.  And boy, do I have a lot to be grateful for, which is rather timely since its Canadian Thanksgiving on Monday!

So have a wonderful weekend, I am grateful to you for stopping by and I'll be back on Tuesday.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Japanese 7-Spice Kelp Noodles

I love trying new spices and seasonings, so I am very excited that the President's Choice Black Label line now has a bunch of new spice blends available.  My most recent find: Shichimi Togarashi, or Japanese 7-Spice blend. It's a combination of crushed red chili flakes, sea salt, Szechiuan peppercorns, black and white sesame seeds, poppy seeds, orange zest, wasabi powder and nori seaweed flakes. I make Japanese-inspired dishes all the time, but resort to the same old flavours most of the time: miso, soy, sesame, ginger and garlic.  I was so excited to be able to liven things up a bit. This dish is easy and tasty, although be warned that this seasoning packs punch.  I used 1 tsp, which ended up being too spicy for me, and I have a high tolerance for heat!  I recommend 1/4-1/2 tsp, or, if you don't like heat at all, make your own at home and omit the red chili flakes.  You'll get all the flavour without the heat. I served these noodles with a mix of seafood (

Blackfly Coolers: Product Review

Summer is over! Well, at least if you're a student. Officially it doesn't end for a few weeks, and it certainly still feels like summer. Yeah, I hate it. This f*cking hot, humid weather needs to end NOW! We made the most of our last weekend of the summer with our annual trip to the CNE on Friday, with a crowd of friends. It wasn't unbearably lot, thank goodness, and the girls and their friends had a blast on the rides.  Saturday I had to work, and Sunday was errand day. Monday we took the girls berry/apple/pear picking but didn't last long due to the heat. I organized the house to prepare for the construction workers starting back up yesterday, while Adam took the girls for a swim in our neighbourhood pool. Yesterday was the first day of school. Grade 2 and Grade 5. Yep, the girls are growing up.  We are fortunate that the girls don't have much anxiety about school, they are so much more confident than I ever was as a kid! But now, in the midst of our reno ch

How to Look Like a Celebrity

Okay, I know you're going to be interested in this post! I am sure virtually every woman in North America has wondered how Hollywood celebrities achieve such 'perfect' bodies.  Well, at CAN FIT PRO last week, one of Hollywood's top fitness trainers, Eric the Trainer , was there to tell us fitness professionals the secrets! Eric the Trainer, gave several presentations, and I caught the one on Celebrity Secrets, and it was most interesting!!!  I also found some of what he said rather disturbing. First off, he was very upfront about the fact that celebrities come to him for improve their appearance.  Not to improve their health or athletic performance.  To look their best.  He admitted that his approach then, is entirely dedicated to that end. Male and female celebrities are trained in completely different ways because Hollywood wants women to be lithe and thin and in his words, "look like they dropped out of heaven looking this way without every having ste