Skip to main content

Find Your Happy Place

 
Everyone these days talks about mindfulness and meditation.  Zen is in.  Don't get me wrong, this is a good thing.  Our society operates primarily from the other side of the coin. We focus on doing not being.  We have constructed lives for ourselves that are so spiritually empty and stressful that many of us struggle with chronic physical and mental malaise and we are getting desperate to find a better way to live.

I have struggled with anxiety since childhood, and I would say that the most common problem my clients present during counselling is anxiety. Even if you don't have an anxiety disorder, chances are there are times you have difficulty keeping your cool.  In the car? Dealing with the guy at the hardware store who won't let you return the screwdriver? The barista who got your coffee order wrong after you waiting for 10 minutes to get it? When your son forgets his homework at school...again?

I took that meditation course a few years ago and though I was completely intrigued by the philosophy behind it, I found that traditional meditation is not something I can do. I know real zen folks claim its something we can all do, but really, I can't.  My brain never shuts down, not even at night - as evidenced by the wild and crazy dreams I have every single night.  EVERY SINGLE NIGHT!  But I can think about things or do things that relax me.  I read novels before bed every night to calm my mind and help me get to sleep, and occasionally when I am doing something I find stressful (like getting dental work done), I can think about pleasant things and get myself into a state of relaxation. 

Back in September I attended a counselling conference and went to a session focused on using mindfulness techniques for those who have trauma-related anxiety.  I see many, many clients with a history of trauma, whether its from an accident, abuse, loss, etc.  The psychologist talked about how meditation can be especially difficult for those who have experienced trauma as tuning in to bodily sensations or emotions can be triggering and frightening.  He explained how a more effective technique in this situation can be to simply focus on an image that brings you feelings of calm and happiness.  Ideally, this shouldn't be a loved one, since even our loved ones can sometimes cause us anxiety!  It should be something simple about which we have no complicated feelings.  I realized as he was talking that I essentially use this technique myself every day.  Looking at pictures of cute cats makes me feel all warm and fuzzy (no pun intended) and it is instantly calming for me.  Aha, now I recognize that things like Instagram really do have a practical use!

I have started suggesting this image technique to many of my clients - lots of them struggle with traditional meditation like I do - and they love this.  For some cats or other animals are also what gives them happy feelings, or a beautiful place the have visited, or for one client, the beautiful library where he used to go to read in college.

This technique is so simple and effective, I encourage you to try it.  Just remember, no looking at your phone while driving...if you are hitting your boiling point in the car, pull over first before looking at puppies!!

Don't worry, be happy, and have a great day.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Japanese 7-Spice Kelp Noodles

I love trying new spices and seasonings, so I am very excited that the President's Choice Black Label line now has a bunch of new spice blends available.  My most recent find: Shichimi Togarashi, or Japanese 7-Spice blend. It's a combination of crushed red chili flakes, sea salt, Szechiuan peppercorns, black and white sesame seeds, poppy seeds, orange zest, wasabi powder and nori seaweed flakes. I make Japanese-inspired dishes all the time, but resort to the same old flavours most of the time: miso, soy, sesame, ginger and garlic.  I was so excited to be able to liven things up a bit. This dish is easy and tasty, although be warned that this seasoning packs punch.  I used 1 tsp, which ended up being too spicy for me, and I have a high tolerance for heat!  I recommend 1/4-1/2 tsp, or, if you don't like heat at all, make your own at home and omit the red chili flakes.  You'll get all the flavour without the heat. I served these noodles with a mix of seafood (

Blackfly Coolers: Product Review

Summer is over! Well, at least if you're a student. Officially it doesn't end for a few weeks, and it certainly still feels like summer. Yeah, I hate it. This f*cking hot, humid weather needs to end NOW! We made the most of our last weekend of the summer with our annual trip to the CNE on Friday, with a crowd of friends. It wasn't unbearably lot, thank goodness, and the girls and their friends had a blast on the rides.  Saturday I had to work, and Sunday was errand day. Monday we took the girls berry/apple/pear picking but didn't last long due to the heat. I organized the house to prepare for the construction workers starting back up yesterday, while Adam took the girls for a swim in our neighbourhood pool. Yesterday was the first day of school. Grade 2 and Grade 5. Yep, the girls are growing up.  We are fortunate that the girls don't have much anxiety about school, they are so much more confident than I ever was as a kid! But now, in the midst of our reno ch

How to Look Like a Celebrity

Okay, I know you're going to be interested in this post! I am sure virtually every woman in North America has wondered how Hollywood celebrities achieve such 'perfect' bodies.  Well, at CAN FIT PRO last week, one of Hollywood's top fitness trainers, Eric the Trainer , was there to tell us fitness professionals the secrets! Eric the Trainer, gave several presentations, and I caught the one on Celebrity Secrets, and it was most interesting!!!  I also found some of what he said rather disturbing. First off, he was very upfront about the fact that celebrities come to him for improve their appearance.  Not to improve their health or athletic performance.  To look their best.  He admitted that his approach then, is entirely dedicated to that end. Male and female celebrities are trained in completely different ways because Hollywood wants women to be lithe and thin and in his words, "look like they dropped out of heaven looking this way without every having ste